A Year of Good Things

I know that in light of the year that falls upon us now, it can be particularly hard to Summon the Good (especially here at Soup and Despair HQ, where the despair is in our DNA.)

But the truth is that if we don't have joy, we're fucked. If we wake up every morning with the presumption that we're fucked, we're extra fucked. And we are going to need every last little bit of joy we can squeeze in order to make sure that we're fighting for our neighbors around us.

With this in mind, I've been thinking about some of the things that brought me the most joy in 2024. Looking back, my instinct is to code the year as a net-neutral. What sticks with me the most is a lot of hard work, a lot of anxiety around that work, and a lot of slow but positive results from that work. (I have the kind of job that people say "That's so cool!!" about, but the truth is that the work is the work is the work, no matter how you slice it. You can't cheat the work.)

When I dig deeper, though, I know there are standout moments from the year that I'll be thinking about for possibly years to come. Here are a few of them.

1. Cyndi Lauper's Farewell Tour 

It's not helpful for me to tell you about this now, because Cyndi Lauper's farewell tour is over and you can never see her live again. But I can tell you to purchase a copy of She's So Unusual and spend an afternoon loving it, because it's as good now as it was when it was released.

You can also watch her perform "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" from the Madison Square Garden show, which has a wonderful introduction about art and inspiration and includes her saying something I really love: "I'll see you in the next chapter." The whole night was like this, with little stories from her career and musings about the next chapter. It truly was a tribute to her career through her eyes, and it didn't feel overly nostalgic or indulgent, but real and raw and wonderful.

Her voice remains singular and immaculate.

2. My Dog

I've written about Mozzarella here before, and I'll do it again, god dammit! Listen, the mental and physical benefits of getting a dog are well documented; I don't have to tell you about them. But the thing I especially didn't know before I got a dog is that there's another world that has opened up to me because of him. 

His dog walker, Tomesena, is one of the purest, most giving people I have ever met; we leave each other soups in my fridge and she takes him for pup cups and we send each other memes. She's an integral part of my dog's life, and she's become a huge part of mine. 

We call Mozzarella the "Mayor of Crown Heights" because everyone knows him or wants to know him. He loves to run up and say hello to every neighbor sitting out on their stoop, and just yesterday we met an elderly gentleman and his two pups in the park who gave him a full bag of dog treats. Every single dog walk includes anywhere from 1-10 compliments from strangers, and he has of course developed a group of Neighborhood Dogs He Loves To Say Hello To. 

It's impossible not to be engaged, daily, in community when you have a really good dog by your side. You find yourself forced to interact with other people when you aren’t ready to, and you find yourself eventually realizing that that’s a good thing because you didn’t know how badly you needed to hear gentle old men in the neighborhood melt over how cute your dog is. It’s wholesome as fuck.

Also, one of the most meaningful gifts I received this year was a $200 donation to Hearts and Bones Rescue from my sister. My dog might not be alive without them, much less in this home where he is loved by all who know him. 

3. Massaman Curry

Thai Massaman curry has been my go-to delivery food item when I'm not feeling well for years and years. It is the thing I crave the most the moment my immune system falters, and it's the thing I ordered immediately on returning home from my hysterectomy in late 2023 even after I'd spent hours prepping my own soups and stews. 

This year. I finally learned to make my own. It's easy, a mild curry built around a core of onions and potatoes and peanuts, the ultimate comfort food. But it's the kind of thing that you have to plan for, just a little bit, to ensure you can procure tamarind paste or already have some on hand. But it's also the kind of meal that tastes better on Day 2, and sometimes on Day 3, and that I never get sick of packing in a work lunch.

Here's the recipe I use. And if a curry isn't your thing, well, there's some combination of garlic, ginger, and carbs out there that will be your cure-all. 

4. Reading Books 

I am, as my first grade teacher told my father in an actually derisive tone, an avid reader. She said this in the middle of a compliment sandwich where she was trying to let him know that I didn't socialize at recess and I didn't seem to have any friends. She was worried about me. My father, who occasionally is exactly the hero I need him to be, told her to fuck off, in those exact words.

In the present, however, I've found that work and life and Life have made it hard for me to focus on reading books that aren't romance novels. (There is nothing wrong with romance novels, just as there is nothing wrong with candy. But there's really good candy and there's really shitty candy, and I've read a lot of really shitty candy this year.) 

At some point, I finally over-indexed on hockey romances and liberated my brain from their tyranny. I've been on a solid reading streak since, and it feels good. It makes my brain feel good. It makes work feel easier. It makes my commutes more enjoyable, and it makes my evenings more memorable. I'm looking forward to starting the year with more evening reading. Currently on deck: James, which was everyone's favorite book of last year, alongside the nonfiction deep dive on the Challenger disaster that I hope will answer some of the questions I've held in my heart since kindergarten. 

Several people have asked me about my favorite book of 2024. Well, my best friend wrote a book this year! Her name is Rebecca Orchant!! You may know her from this very newsletter!!! But some other favorites include:

• Liz Moore, The God of the Woods (Note: this is NOT a thriller as I was advertised! I would have read this book so much sooner if I'd realized)

• Taffy Brodesser-Akner, Long Island Compromise

• Hanif Aburraquib, There's Always Next Year: On Basketball and Ascension

• Griffin Dunne, The Friday Afternoon Club

• Rivka Galchen, Everyone Knows Your Mother Is a Witch

• Danny Goodman, Amerikaland

• Rufi Thorpe, Margo's Got Money Troubles

5. Buying Books

I know there are memes about this, but I want to be clear here: Reading books and buying books are different experiences. I know everyone's financial situations and space situations are different, but it doesn't take a lot to have enough expendable cash to buy a couple of books every month or two, and god, it feels good every time.

If you're reading this, you may be unsurprised to learn that my measure of wealth is being able to walk into a bookstore and get whatever I want without worrying that I can't afford groceries that week. I'm lucky that this is true, and I'm also lucky that I have really wonderful bookstores in Brooklyn to hang out in. But even if you don't have that, Bookshop.org exists, and it helps so many of us achieve our childhood dreams of being left alone to read and eat sandwiches.

6. Breakfast Sandwiches 

Speaking of sandwiches, I've eaten some really lovely ones this year. The breakfast sandwich, however, is the thing that really sets the tone for my day, and breakfast is how I ensure that no matter what else happens in my day that I am Taking Care Of Myself in a real way.

My favorite breakfast sandwich of the year is from my local bakery, Bien Cuit, who make an egg, cheddar, and bacon jam sandwich that is wonderful and exactly the right size. But my breakfast staple of the year has been the bagel shop by my office. 

The biggest sacrifice I've made in getting a dog has been my time in the morning; I used to get up on weekdays and make myself a really nice, protein-packed breakfast before I headed to the office. These days, that 45 minutes is spent walking my dog. I bring my lunch to work most days, I make dinner at home all days, and now, my financial hit is in the mornings: I go to the bagel shop around the corner from the office and I ask for what I want.

Sometimes I want what I want, and what I want is a bagel and cream cheese. But most of the time, I am focused on making breakfast the same meal that I used to make at home, the nutritional powerhouse that I can't fuck up. My go-to is egg and avocado in a spinach wrap; sometimes I add Swiss cheese, spinach and mushrooms, or in the depths of winter, smoked salmon, but it is a relatively inexpensive (at least, compared to takeout lunches), smart way for me to start the day.

7. Group Chats 

Did you know not everyone has a group chat? Did you know not everyone has several group chats? What are some of you doing with your lives??? 

That’s what I’ve got for now, folks. Happy New Year.