Keep Your Eye On The Donut

By this point, most of you probably understand that I don’t make resolutions based on the calendar date, and I think the collective urge to torture ourselves into diets, exercise programs, temporary sobriety and self-denial during the longest, coldest, darkest, rudest month is one of the greatest human follies we’ve ever come up with. And frankly, that’s saying a lot. 

Almost nothing is cool right now, and I’d wager that by this time next week, it will be significantly less cool, somehow. 

We’ve had to endure a lot already this year. We watched whole neighborhoods in LA get swallowed up by a wall of fire and 100mph winds, we were, once again, forced to look at Mark Zuckerberg’s unequivocally punchable face while he went full Roganite in public, we had to sit through confirmation hearings for some of the most indecent and incompetent people imaginable, a ceasefire in Gaza was announced and then collapsed in upon itself under the weight of Netanyahu’s horrible whim in under 24 hours, and then fuckin’ David Lynch died. I don’t mean to be glib about a single one of these things (I would really love to punch Zuckerberg) – it is just so much to inhale all at once. All this before we get to what’s happening on January 20th. 

There is nothing good about David Lynch dying – he was a visionary, and a weirdo, and seemed to make life a lot better and weirder for everyone who knew him. In his formidable wake, one of his more famous aphorisms has been pin-balling around, and it gave me reason to take a look around and recalibrate a little bit: “Keep your eye on the donut, not on the hole.”

There are certainly a lot of holes to stare into right now (and not in the fun way), and I’m going to try my best, without capitulating to toxic positivity or disengaging from reality, to keep my eye on the donuts. 

The horrific wildfires in California have shone a spotlight on one of the things we seem to do really well as human beings when everything goes to shit around us, get the fuck up and help. Casey Dienel’s most recent Notes from Lantern House includes an amazing list of resources for mutual aid, all of which are locally-organized, and do the gravely important work of actually getting money into actual people’s hands, the thing that matters most at a time like this. (Casey makes the point that everyone we know in LA knows at least one person who lost their home, and case in point, so did my dear childhood friend Mayera Abeita and her family in Altadena. Here is their GoFundMe, if you have some help to spare: https://www.gofundme.com/f/altadena-family-lost-everything-please-help.)

The only donuts in the Cabinet Confirmation Hearings will be watching the Senators who aren’t willing to lick the boots of the incoming fascist dickheads take them to task. It’s where the likes of Elizabeth Warren, Tammy Duckworth, Ed Markey, and Bernie Sanders really shine. I do not believe that you must peel your eyelids back and subject yourself to every one of these things, but it’s a valuable resource for how to keep yourself composed and angry when one of these shitbags starts lying to your face. It has also, as usual, incentivized Lyz Lenz to write some of the most cogent and eviscerating criticism of Pete Hegseth’s blinding ineligibility to serve as Secretary of Defense in her newsletter, Men Yell At Me. 

One thing I do not believe you have the duty to watch is the inauguration. That is nothing but a television show, and it will be a depressing one, and if anything interesting or important happens, you can bet you’ll hear about it afterwards. I’m going to a moronic waterpark in the middle of Cape Cod for the birthday celebration of one of the most enthusiastic and civically engaged gaylords I know, which feels more like protest than anything else I can do that day. That day will be a donut, hole be damned. 

To Flynn’s point in her last letter, if we don’t have any joy, we are fucked. I’ve been thinking a lot this week about how far away collective joy has felt over the last five years, and how it feels like maybe we’ll never get to experience it again. That, to be fair, is a very big donut, and it might be a little easier to carve out the Munchkin versions of it wherever we can. To that end, it is time to talk about soup, because I just made my first successful chawanmushi, and it brought me an unreasonable amount of joy. 

Chawanmushi is the Japanese name for a savory, steamed egg custard, but it exists in lots of different places (I just think “chawanmushi” is the most fun one to say). It’s basically seasoned, beaten eggs, mixed with dashi or stock, strained, then studded with little bits of whatever brings you joy. Mine had sautéed mushrooms, some leftover roasted tomatoes, and green onions, but the possibilities are pretty endless. The first time I ate this dish, I was having lunch with my then-work wife, Tara. I didn’t really have any idea what I was getting into, but it sounded delicious, and she watched my eyes widen, then water with joy every time I dipped my spoon into the smooth custard, where a pool of bonus soup would immediately form itself each time. This, to me, seemed like an impossible magic trick, and I’ve always assumed that that meant it was very complicated to make. I’m delighted to tell you that it is actually quite simple, and means you can deliver breakfast or lunch joy to anyone you love. A tiny, easily accessible donut on a frigid day. To me, that’s a win. 

Chawanmushi with Mushrooms and Tomatoes
adapted from the wonderful Little Fat Boy’s recipe

(Makes 2 servings)

2 whole eggs
1 ½ cups chicken or vegetable broth
½ tsp salt
½ tsp mirin or sake (optional)
1 tsp soy sauce or soy aminos

Fillings/Toppings
a few cremini or shitake mushrooms
leftover roasted tomatoes
a few spinach leaves
green onions
toasted sesame seeds
sesame oil
rice vinegar

Prep egg mixture filling 
Thinly slice your mushrooms and sautée in a bit of sesame oil. Cook until soft and a little browned, about 2-3 minutes. When cooked, set aside and drizzle with a little soy sauce and/or rice vinegar.

Make egg mixture 
In a small mixing bowl, crack open both eggs and scramble well with chopsticks. Add broth, salt, sake, and soy sauce/aminos to the egg and mix again until fully incorporated. Pour egg mixture through a thin mesh strainer into two small soup bowls. Finally add your chosen vegetables into the egg mixture as well, making sure to some for garnish.

Steam egg and serve 
Boil a pot of water and turn to low when boiling. Place soup bowl onto your steamer above the water and cover. (If steaming is new to you, test while it’s cold to make sure both your bowls will fit in your steamer basket.) Steam on low for about 14-20 minutes until the egg has set and the surface is smooth and jiggly (the size and shape of your bowl will change the steaming time slightly). When ready, take the bowl out and garnish with extra mushrooms (and whatever else you’ve got). Sprinkle sliced green onions, and sesame seeds, and serve right away.

You’re reading “Soup and Despair,” a (sometimes) weekly newsletter by Sarah Flynn and Rebecca Orchant. It’s about food, feelings, and surviving the dark times. If someone forwarded you this email, it’s because they love you and they want you to eat. You can subscribe to it too!